Do not give your number out to school anymore. They just keep calling. Stupid people.
Sure. I don't talk on the phone much, but I pay for those minutes. If I am going to talk on the phone, I want to choose who I talk to. Hint. It won't be the people at school.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
So...There is this boy...
Begin snipet of conversation:
Missy Mao: Eh. Shrug. It will either happen or not. Either way. I will have a job. And I am not working at Shoney's for forever. I would rather kill myself than do that.
Deamion Smirl: dont' do that... I'd miss you
Missy Mao: I didn't say that I was going to. Just that I would rather. ^.^
Deamion Smirl: Well.. just letting you know
Missy Mao: I'm glad. ^.^
:End snipet of conversation.
I am smitten, yes.
Missy Mao:
Deamion Smirl: dont' do that... I'd miss you
Missy Mao: I didn't say that I was going to. Just that I would rather. ^.^
Deamion Smirl: Well.. just letting you know
Missy Mao: I'm glad. ^.^
:End snipet of conversation.
I am smitten, yes.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Things I Do In Class...
So. In class I have a tendency to do things that aren't class related. I have this whole tendency to not pay attention and the like.
I think up some pretty random things.
I have come up with this amazing idea for a photo series. I will only share it when I get to do it. I don't want anyone to steal my brilliant ideas. ^.~
I think up some pretty random things.
I have come up with this amazing idea for a photo series. I will only share it when I get to do it. I don't want anyone to steal my brilliant ideas. ^.~
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Icy
I hate ice.
Okay. Maybe I just hate ice when it makes me fall. I fall plenty on my own.
I have fallen twice today because of the ice out here. I am considering calling into work. I already have one vote of confidence on that.
Okay. Maybe I just hate ice when it makes me fall. I fall plenty on my own.
I have fallen twice today because of the ice out here. I am considering calling into work. I already have one vote of confidence on that.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sad face.
I ask only one thing in life right now. One thing that I will not receive for years to come if ever.
I want a place to call home with someone to go home to. Someone to call my own. Someone to love and that loves me despite how stupid I am most of the time.
The seemingly most simple things are the ones hardest to achieve.
I want a place to call home with someone to go home to. Someone to call my own. Someone to love and that loves me despite how stupid I am most of the time.
The seemingly most simple things are the ones hardest to achieve.
Dreams
You know when you have those really good dreams? You know. The ones that you want to finish. Those. Yes. Well. Had one of those last night\this morning. The dream left me because the goddamn alarm went off. I want that dream back now. Humph.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Isn't it ironic?
When the person that you are most jealous of is someone that you have never really spoken to, isn't it ironic? Simply because they have always had something that you haven't had and have tried so very hard to have, isn't it ironic that they had it the entire time you were trying so very hard to get it? Isn't it ironic that they are a presence in your life that seems as though it will never leave because you refuse to end the ties that end up tying you to them by extention?
Isn't it ironic when you wish that you were more like this person simply because they are someone that you admire and hate at the exact same time?
Yes. Yes, it is. It is ironic.
"A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think..."
"Ironic" by Alanis Morissette.
Isn't it ironic when you wish that you were more like this person simply because they are someone that you admire and hate at the exact same time?
Yes. Yes, it is. It is ironic.
"A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think..."
"Ironic" by Alanis Morissette.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
So.
I realize that I haven't been posting here in a while.
But I haven't had a lot of time. And I haven't had a lot of energy to expend in other places.
Friday, my sister's car broke down. Saturday I get a call from mom asking me to come pick my sister up and take her to make her car payment. Something fell off of her car. Good thing it happened when she was at the house instead of when she was driving to Nashville and back Friday night. We end up not being able to get the part for my sister's car until Monday. It is an almost $400 part. We can't get my mom's car running either. Sunday I get texts from mom early. She needs sodas. My car is the only one running. So I get up and get my things together, because I was to be staying at the house Sunday night. I get sodas and go over there. I have to take my sister to work just as I did on Saturday. I go to work, get back to the house, wait for my sister to call, and head up to Nashville at about 11 pm to take my mom's visitor back to his house. We got back at 4am. Went to sleep from maybe 2 hours and got back up. Mom had to get my sister and brother up. I had to get them to school because she was staying home. Got them to school, went to class, drove back to the house, and mom and I left to get the part for my sister's car. At the part store, this guy informs me that I have a flat. Woo hoo. I drive very carefull to the Firestone just a little ways down while mom gets the part. I have to have two new tires. Two hours later, we leave, hitting the ATM, another part store and dropping mom off. I go to pick up my sister and brother.
This has carried on like this still.
I still am in possession of the only functioning car. Mom and I are broke. We are tired.
I miss Andrew.
Apparently I have been unpleasant company for the few times that Joel has seen or spoken to me.
I'm just tired and need someone to talk to or to be there while I cry and pull my hair out.
I miss Andrew. He would be getting the largest part of this if I was able to talk to him right now.
But I haven't had a lot of time. And I haven't had a lot of energy to expend in other places.
Friday, my sister's car broke down. Saturday I get a call from mom asking me to come pick my sister up and take her to make her car payment. Something fell off of her car. Good thing it happened when she was at the house instead of when she was driving to Nashville and back Friday night. We end up not being able to get the part for my sister's car until Monday. It is an almost $400 part. We can't get my mom's car running either. Sunday I get texts from mom early. She needs sodas. My car is the only one running. So I get up and get my things together, because I was to be staying at the house Sunday night. I get sodas and go over there. I have to take my sister to work just as I did on Saturday. I go to work, get back to the house, wait for my sister to call, and head up to Nashville at about 11 pm to take my mom's visitor back to his house. We got back at 4am. Went to sleep from maybe 2 hours and got back up. Mom had to get my sister and brother up. I had to get them to school because she was staying home. Got them to school, went to class, drove back to the house, and mom and I left to get the part for my sister's car. At the part store, this guy informs me that I have a flat. Woo hoo. I drive very carefull to the Firestone just a little ways down while mom gets the part. I have to have two new tires. Two hours later, we leave, hitting the ATM, another part store and dropping mom off. I go to pick up my sister and brother.
This has carried on like this still.
I still am in possession of the only functioning car. Mom and I are broke. We are tired.
I miss Andrew.
Apparently I have been unpleasant company for the few times that Joel has seen or spoken to me.
I'm just tired and need someone to talk to or to be there while I cry and pull my hair out.
I miss Andrew. He would be getting the largest part of this if I was able to talk to him right now.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Hnnnn...
Hnnnn...
That is the sound that zombies make, I think. Well. Even so. It is the sound that I made today.
I get motion sick. Never bad. Just so that I feel really nasty, but no tossing of the cookies ever happens.
I get motion sick, but I have ridden busses for years. It doesn't bother me.
Oh my god. The bus that we took on the damn field trip was horrid. It jerked every few minutes or so. I didn't like it. Not one bit.
I never lost my lunch. But I felt like it. My head still hurts.
Remind me to never, ever take a bus if I have the choice. Never.
That is the sound that zombies make, I think. Well. Even so. It is the sound that I made today.
I get motion sick. Never bad. Just so that I feel really nasty, but no tossing of the cookies ever happens.
I get motion sick, but I have ridden busses for years. It doesn't bother me.
Oh my god. The bus that we took on the damn field trip was horrid. It jerked every few minutes or so. I didn't like it. Not one bit.
I never lost my lunch. But I felt like it. My head still hurts.
Remind me to never, ever take a bus if I have the choice. Never.
Inconsiderate
So. I have this field trip today. And I have to go to work later. Did you know that the college that I attend apparently does not care if you have a job when they schedule things? No? I should have from orientation. Sigh. Stupid people.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Full, warm belly means sleep time.
I was tired when I got off. Not exceedingly so, but tired nonetheless. I came home and got on the computer for a while before I decided to go get something to eat.
Home once more with a full, warm belly in my comfy flannel pajama pants. Time to go to sleep very very soon.
Feel bad still, but the tiredness has kind of drowned it out. My body is starting to turn off slowly and that means that it is pushing anything that may keep me up away so that I can go to sleep soon.
I am craving someone to cuddle that will just be there for me if I decide to cry. I will let you know if I find them.
Home once more with a full, warm belly in my comfy flannel pajama pants. Time to go to sleep very very soon.
Feel bad still, but the tiredness has kind of drowned it out. My body is starting to turn off slowly and that means that it is pushing anything that may keep me up away so that I can go to sleep soon.
I am craving someone to cuddle that will just be there for me if I decide to cry. I will let you know if I find them.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Welcome
2007 was a year to remember. And a year to learn from.
I regret nothing. It is a matter of perspective how the events of the passing year should be taken. It is a step in the right direction though, whatever direction that may be.
This year, I have loved. Maybe even been loved. I have learned. And I have accepted.
I have accepted where I am and what I cannot have. I have accepted the pain and darkness that seems to come from nowhere more readily than I have before. Sometimes it is better to hurt than to feel nothing. And I have accepted the loneliness that is emotional as best as I can.
One day it will be my turn to have an amazing year. It makes me laugh at the thought. Because when that year comes, I will not know how to act or what to do.
Who knows when that year will come. This year. Next year. Five or even ten years from now.
Welcome to 2008.
May your year be full of hope and happiness. And may 2007 have been a year of enlightenment and happiness even if in just the little things.
And I thank each of you that keep coming back. You are kind and good. Thank you for staying with me over the trials that this year has brought.
I regret nothing. It is a matter of perspective how the events of the passing year should be taken. It is a step in the right direction though, whatever direction that may be.
This year, I have loved. Maybe even been loved. I have learned. And I have accepted.
I have accepted where I am and what I cannot have. I have accepted the pain and darkness that seems to come from nowhere more readily than I have before. Sometimes it is better to hurt than to feel nothing. And I have accepted the loneliness that is emotional as best as I can.
One day it will be my turn to have an amazing year. It makes me laugh at the thought. Because when that year comes, I will not know how to act or what to do.
Who knows when that year will come. This year. Next year. Five or even ten years from now.
Welcome to 2008.
May your year be full of hope and happiness. And may 2007 have been a year of enlightenment and happiness even if in just the little things.
And I thank each of you that keep coming back. You are kind and good. Thank you for staying with me over the trials that this year has brought.
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