Clinging

Clinging.

That is precisely all I am doing.

I cling to the small things. To moments.

I live for the small things and moments for they are all I have.

Moments...Feelings...Small things...

The feeling of a laugh on a day that just makes you want to sit down and cry because you just can't do it anymore.

The feeling of slipping into a different world and forgetting all about your world.

The low, dull pang that comes when something you didn't know was there is sqashed before your eyes.

The fact that your world enters the different world when moments like that happen.

Finding something that just makes you smile when all you can do is frown.

The feeling of responsibility when all you want to do is quit.

Wanting to wrap your arms around someone else to make them feel better when all you want is someone to wrap their arms around you and let you cry.

Wanting so badly to be someone that you aren't.

Wanting to be in a position you have no right to be in because you aren't wanted there.

Going back to your old addiction to get away from your new one.

Not slipping back to the days when cold steel was your friend and your release.

Doing something or not doing something so that you simply aren't following down the dark path already traveled before you came along.

Realizing that the only moments, small things, and feelings that you have to cling to aren't happy ones....