DG

The silence is still there.

The empty sad silence.

It is unsatisfied as always.

I am tired of the lack of everything in my life.

I work.

I go to school.

I sleep.

I eat.

I fuck.

I am fucked.

I am fucked over.

I cry.

I'm tired of the lack of satisfaction.

Of the lack of love.

The lack of smiles.

The lack of the small affections that make the day worth facing.

For the days are not worth facing.


I have lost any and all concept of who I am.

I have lost any concept of where I am going in life.

I am simply here.

I get out of bed for no reason for why should one rise to be greeted with emptiness?

I pretend.

I function on a dysfunctional level.

I want to smile and mean it.

I want to smile and not fight back tears.

I want to say words and mean them.

Not say them and be saying them because they are what I should say even when it tears me apart inside to say them.

I want to say that I am fine or okay and actually mean it.


I want one good thing in my life.

And I will never have it.