I feel like crying again. I am trying so very hard to move passed this mess.
I love Joel.
That is stupid, but I can't seem to let go of the hope that we could work out together even though I know it won't happen.
It doesn't help the situation that I am about to be on my period which means that my damn ups and downs are a lot more unpredictable than they already were. Makes me more tired than I already am.
Why can't I have a happy relationship like everyone else around me has?
Seriously.
What is so goddamn wrong with me that I do not deserve to be happy for more than a little while?
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