Good Morning, Sunshine. Or rather moonlight. Seeing as it was 2 am.

I was at Joel's last night.

Yes. I am a masochist.

He woke me up at 2 am because he hadn't fallen asleep and he wanted company. Aside from other things, that is.

Well. When I finally fell asleep again, for some reason I couldn't stop talking and I couldn't fall asleep, I had the most unnerving dream.

Seriously. I thought it was real. And it hasn't left my mind since.

I have been analyzing it.

Well. Here is the gist of it.


I was at someone's house. I lived there(?), but he and I were just friends. Well. He had some woman over. And I hated that (obviously since I love him). He and she would fuck. I won't say make love because he was doing it to hurt me. If he thought it wasn't hurting me he would stop. As soon as I would cry or whatever, he would go back in there and go at it again. (Can't believe that I just said "go at it". So wrong on so many levels.)

I argued with him, and tried to get him to stop. He wouldn't admit that he was doing it to hurt me. He wouldn't admit that he loved me and wanted to be with me (because that was what he wanted in the dream. I knew it even though he wouldn't come out and say it).


That is all I remember.

I am open to any opinions or theories.