Unnecessary Desires

I am feeling pretty lonely right now. Doesn't help that no one is responding to my messages right now. That I am on my period and cramping horridly.

I am tired of seemingly not mattering to people.

I am tired of people acting one way and saying an entirely different one.

Especially in relationships.

Well. Non-relationships. Since one person doesn't want an exclusive relationship. And one person lives two hours away and hardly contacts me much anyway--And is kind of seeing someone.

In would-be and have-been with possible would-be-again relationships.


Is it too much to ask to have someone that says they love you talk to you and be there when you need to talk about things important to you that pertain to them?

Is it too much to ask to feel loved and be in a relationship with someone who is in it all the way as opposed to acting in it, but saying that they don't want an exclusive relationship?

Is it too much to ask to not be laughed at over something that makes you uncomfortable while the other two parties involved are obviously quite comfortable with the idea?

Is it too much to ask to be happy?

To be with someone that makes you happy without all of these terms and conditions?


I want to feel loved. Not to feel like I am around strictly for the pleasure of others.

I want to be happy.


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On an entirely different note on the same subject of desires...

I have this desire to have a baby right now.

I'm not going to.

I'm not having a baby until, at the very least, I am out of college.

But I do. I want to have a baby.

I think part of it is this whole lonely thing I have going on.

I deal. It isn't going to happen so it isn't like I am going to change that fact.